The morning of March 28, 2018 my mom called me early in the morning in tears.
She was bawling. I instantly knew why.
My dad had passed away in his sleep and she had just found his body.
The night before he went to sleep on his hospital bed in the living room
with the new soft foam pads my mom had just purchased.
He was comfortable for the first time in a while.
He went to sleep and never woke up.
...
Ever since our Christmas trip to Washington ended so abruptly,
I've been wanting to get back to Washington to visit my dad.
But as you may have read in my three previous post,
January, February and March were very unhealthy months for us.
I nearly ALWAYS had a sick kid this past winter.
And there was no way that I was going to risk taking any form of sickness to my dad.
And there was no way that I was going to risk taking any form of sickness to my dad.
...
In early March my dad asked to be admitted to a hospice center.
I started freaking out. I knew I needed to visit him.
But the timing was awful.
Sean was slammed at work and couldn't take time off to watch the kids.
Plus we still had sickness in our house.
Then he came home from the hospice center and I calmed down a little bit.
...
I started hoping again that maybe he'd make it to summer time.
I was hoping to go back to Washington as soon as school got out.
...
The last words that my dad ever said to me in person will haunt me the rest of my life.
It was the day after Christmas when we were quickly leaving my parent's house
when we realized that Ruby and Ty had croupe.
My dad stayed in his room that morning with a mask on.
I went in to say goodbye after we were all packed.
I hugged him and just bawled.
He told me that he loved me and then said, "I'll see you again soon."
And then he added, "On this side of the veil."
As soon as he said that, I had a horrible feeling that it wasn't true.
I thought about that over the next several months.
I kept thinking that I needed to see him again on this side of the veil.
But I never did. And I will regret that the rest of my life.
...
That day that my dad passed, I talked to my mom multiple times on the phone
and started getting ready for our trip to Washington for the funeral.
I spent hours over the next few days gathering pictures for my dad's funeral.
Here are some of the pictures that I found...
This picture of my dad from our vacation in Seaside always cracks me up.
I love this picture of my dad in the Sacred Grove last July.
My dad loved my cat Angel.
I took this candid photo of my dad outside the Boise Temple.
He was just sitting and enjoying the view.
My dad loved grilling.
My brother sent me this picture of my dad with his dog Booker.
This picture is from my dad's last birthday.
This picture is from my dad's 70th birthday surprise party.
My dad absolutely loved being a grandpa.
I don't know if anything brought him more joy than his grand babies.
He loves loved them.
I will always cherish the pictures I have of him with my kids. I know that they will too.
My parents came to visit right after Eli's first birthday.
We had a good visit with them.
My parents came to visit for Ruby's baby blessing.
(Here are the blog posts about the blessing and their stay.)
(Here are the blog posts about the blessing and their stay.)
The girls and I went to visit my parents in early 2012.
I love this picture so much.
This was taken the night my parents flew in for Lexi's baptism.
The girls requested that Grandpa tuck them in.
Lexi asked my dad to do the confirmation after her baptism.
He was so touched that he got teary eyed on the phone.
It was such a special moment for him.
This picture was taken last February.
My parents came to visit.
That was the first time I knew that something was seriously wrong with my dad's health.
I am so grateful that I pulled the kids out of school last October
and our whole family went to Washington.
That was the last time that we ever saw my dad and he seemed like himself.
Just a few weeks after this trip my dad was in the hospital and he never was the same again.
...
First up is pictures of my dad with Lexi...
...
Next up are pictures of my dad with Avery.
These two really loved each other. They had such a special bond.
...
And here are pictures of my dad with Eli.
...
Here's pictures of Miss Ruby with her grandpa. She sure loved him.
She got so excited whenever she was going to see him.
...
The pictures of Ty with my dad make me so emotional.
They didn't have very much time together and that breaks my heart.
I went through my photo albums from high school and found some pictures with my dad from then.
You can just tell in the next two pictures that I love my dad.
This picture was taken right before I moved away for college.
One of my favorite memories of my dad is when he dressed up like Julius Caesar
for my toga themed birthday party.
He took pictures with all my friends and a few of them even sat on his lap like Santa!
He was so fun!
This next picture was taken on the day that my parents were sealed together.
And here's a pictures from the day that I was sealed to my parents.
Here's a few pictures from my wedding day.
One of my favorite things about my dad was what an amazing husband he was.
I don't think there is a luckier woman in the world than my mom.
He adored her! And she adored him.
Here's some more pictures from last November when my dad was in the hospital.
This picture was taken the night before my dad's open heart surgery back in 2014.
And here are some more pictures that I found...
My dad was always in the kitchen helping. He was so giving and selfless.
The summer of 2016, my parents and brother came to visit us for mine and Lexi's birthdays.
That's when we started building the playhouse.
It's been three and half months since my dad passed.
Honestly it feels like it's been longer.
I miss him so much.
I wish he were still with us. Especially today.
Today is my parent's wedding anniversary.
I feel mad and sad that he's gone.
Some days I feel okay.
Other days I think of something I want to tell my dad and then realize I can't. And then I bawl.
I want to hear his laugh again. I miss it so much. He had the best laugh.
I wish he had lived long enough to see Ty walk and Ruby get potty trained.
I wish he could have gone to Avery's baptism and see Eli go to Kindergarten.
I wish he were still alive so that Lexi could talk to him on the phone.
She loved talking to him. He would listen for as long as she would talk.
I miss him calling me regularly just to check up on me and hear all about the kids.
I just miss my dad. And I don't think anything will ever change that.
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