Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Monday, April 7, 2014

A New Way to Encourage Postive Behavior

 Lexi's kindergarten teacher has a clip up/ clip down chart at school.
Lexi talks about it all the time.
It really motivates her to be good at school.
So I made my own version of the chart for our house.
The girls start off the day on yellow, "ready to listen."
(At school, it's "ready to learn.")
When they do something good or have a good attitude I clip them up.
If they do something bad, they get clipped down.
"Think about it" means that we talk about what they've done and how they can improve.
"Take a break" means time out.
"Parent choice" means I decided a fitting consequence/ punishment.
I try to focus more on their positive behavior.
I'm always looking for reasons to clip the girls up.
They can clip up and down all through out the day.
 

Before bedtime we see where they are on the chart.
They get one "happy rock" if they have clipped up one time.
 Two happy rocks if they have clipped up two times.
And three happy rocks if they have clipped up three times.
If they are still on ready to listen or have clipped down they get nothing.
And I don't take happy rocks away.
(At school, Lexi gets a "happy rock" for clipping up one time.
She gets a "happy heart" for clipping up two times.
And if she clips up three times she gets to go to the office and pick out a prize.) 
 


So it's possible for the girls to put a total of six happy rocks in the jar every night.
When the jar is full they get to pick out a reward and then start all over.
The rewards are things like:
Walk to Ream's and pick out a piece of candy, finger paint, go for a walk, play at the play ground, stay up 20 minutes past your bedtime, have mom print out a coloring sheet of your choice, etc.



Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Family Economy and Earning "Lon Junior"

I shared in a previous post that we have new family laws. Well, we've implemented a family economy.
It's the second step in the book, "Three Steps to a Strong Family" by Linda and Richard Eyre.

 "An economy (as we use the word here) is a system whereby people can earn, save, and buy. 
But it is much more than that. It requires responsibility and discipline, and it provides motivation.
It can help children develop confidence and self-reliant self-image. It offers training for 
decision making, for delayed gratification, for prioritizing, and for caring for others."

"Actually by the time children are eight years old, they are capable of accepting responsibility for earning their own money, buying their own clothes, totally caring for their own room and their own things, systematized savings for their education, and sharing the general responsibility for the home."

"Giving this kind of early responsibility does not rob children of their childhood- 
on the contrary, it gives them the appreciation, the perspective, 
and the beginnings of self-reliance and self-esteem that enhance childhood joys."

...
The three elements of a family economy is:
1) Ways for children to earn their own money
2) Ways to save, invest, earn interest
3) Ways to spend money wisely and perceive ownership

..

First you have to split of family responsibilities. "Children usually have little idea of how much work it takes to run a household." (I'll be honest, I didn't.)

"The first thing to do is make a long list of 'what it takes to run a house.' Include everything- from 'keeping the family room tidy and clean' (list every room separately), to preparing dinner (list every meal of the day separately) , to washing and drying the dishes, to mowing the lawn, to taking out the garbage, to doing the laundry. Also list things like buying food and earning the money to buy food."

"With this long list as your visual aid, sit down and have a family discussion. Explain that there's a lot of work to do but that it all needs to be done, and show how it makes the family happier (pick out a few things on the list and ask what would happen if they didn't get done)."

"Finally, put a name by each task- working out who will be responsible for each. Parents' names of course will be listed by most of the tasks, and children will go away from the discussion appreciating the fact that their jobs are just a small piece of all that the family has to do."

"As you make up job assignments for your children, be sure to keep them simple. The more complex they are, the less chance they have of working."

...

In the book they explain that they created peg boards for the children to keep track of their daily chores. At the end of each day, the children must show a parent how many pegs they got and then write it down on a piece of paper, signed and dated by a parent. I decided to keep track of Lexi's chores on a chart that I made and laminated.

So instead of getting pegs, Lexi gets marks on her chart. She gets her "morning mark" by eating breakfast (something she's horrible at, she just likes to snack in the morning, Avery too). She also has to brush her teeth and get dressed and get her hair done. We don't require her to make her bed since it's really different to make a top bunk, so we just ask to to put all of her bedding in her bed.

To get her "reading mark" we have to read her scriptures to her and just read to her at least 20 minutes a day. Once preschool is done she gonna have to do pages in her workbooks too. And then when school starts this will also be her "homework mark."

Then there is the "zone mark."  She gets this mark when she cleans her zone, which is the living room. She has to help me clean that room every afternoon and night. She is also responsible for cleaning up whatever mess she makes in her room. Also included in this mark is her kitchen chores which are emptying the utensil basket in the dish washer and helping set and clear the table.

Last there is her "night time mark." She get this mark when she gets ready for bed and goes to bed on time.

For now, each mark represents $.25 that Lexi can earn. So she has the possibility of earning $5 a week. Sean and I have talked about giving her a bonus if she gets all of her marks but that ha never even happened yet.

Every Saturday is Pay Day. In the book they suggest that you have weekly paydays. We encourage Lexi to give 10% to tithing and 10% to savings. And the rest we put in an envelope that we we hold onto for her. In this next picture you can see the little ledger I keep on Lexi's envelope and see our ghetto "family bank."


After four weeks, Lexi had just over $11 and was finally able to buy "Lon Junior."
She was beyond excited to receive her new lion in the mail today.
(We ordered him on Amazon.)
Sean and I are so proud of Lexi.
Four weeks is a long time for a four year old 
but we really think it's important for her to learn delayed gratification.




Here's Lexi with old and new Lon.


Now she wants to buy some Cinderella shoes she saw at Target.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Family Laws

This is my second blog post for the day. I'm on a roll!
...
At the beginning of the year I bought several used books on Amazon 
all about improving marriages and family.
One of the books I bought the book was 
This is actually the fourth book this year I've read by Linda Eyre.
I would recommend ALL of her books.
Maybe I'll blog about the other books later.
Anyway, in this book the first step to building a strong family is creating a family legal system.
AKA establishing family laws or rules.
...
      "Legal systems not only protect our rights, our property, and our persons, they give us a stable, secure environment in which we can function and flourish. Ironically our limits give us freedoms, whereas anarchy is the absence of both limits and freedom."
      
       "The goal is first to establish clear, simple family laws that children understand (and know the reasons for), laws that make family members safer, calmer, and happier and that teach children the principles of obedience to law more than obedience to people."

        "Next we connect those laws to the concept of consequences- consistent rewards and penalties- while allowing for "repentance," through which amends can be made and a penalty or punishment avoided."

         "Finally we teach our children that some of life's big decisions are easy because they simply involve obedience to the laws and can be make quickly, even in advance. And we show them how other decisions involve multiple options instead of laws and thus require a different, more analytical kind of decision making."

         "Over time the implementation of a family legal system helps create order and peace in a home, thoughtful obedience in children, and some basic skills in the areas of time management, priorities, and choice making."
...
In the book, the Eyres share their five family laws.
We have decided to adopt those family laws.
We introduced them to the girls a few weeks ago at Family Home Evening 
and we have been reviewing them every week since.
I also put the laws up on the wall for everyone to see.


Because I'm sure you can read those.
Here are our laws and their definitions and for some reason when I copied and pasted these the format got all weird on my blog. And I'm too lazy to fix it. So sorry it looks so awful.

Peace

 Don’t fight with your bodies or words.
Don’t lose your temper or yell.
 ....

Asking
 Don’t go somewhere or do something outside 
the normal routine without asking and getting permission.

 ....


Order

Take care of your things, put them away and 
don’t leave messes for others to clean up.
Do things in the right order.
 ....

Respect

 Be polite, especially to your parents.

Respect other people’s rights, views and property and respect the environment. 
  ...

Obedience
Mind your parents.

You may ask why and they will try to 
tell you but then you do it.
 ...

Let me explain, "Do things in the right order."
It means brush your teeth before you go to bed.
Clean up what you're playing with before you get something else out.
Do your chores before you get to watch any shows.
You get the idea. Do first things, first.